


Pit stop at Little Goat Farm

by zazajb



Category: Torchwood
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-18
Updated: 2014-01-18
Packaged: 2018-01-09 04:19:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1141342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zazajb/pseuds/zazajb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aliens pay a call at milking time, the boys get distracted by a few bales of straw; fluff!smut</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pit stop at Little Goat Farm

  


Title: Pit stop at Little Goat Farm  
Author: zazajb  
Rating: NC-17 overall, adult concepts, adult language, M/M  
Pairings/Characters: Jack/Ianto, Tosh, mentions Gwen, Owen  
Spoilers – Set mid TW s2, but don’t think there are any...  
Summary: Aliens pay a call at milking time, the boys get distracted by a few bales of straw; fluff!smut  
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters - just like to dabble with them from time to time  
This is (early!!) for choccy_grl’s birthday – hope you like xxx  
  
X-posted Jantolution & jackxianto

A/N – I’m home at last! Long bumpy flight on a chartered troop carrier DC-10...but had beans on toast and 2 cups of tea – almost human now...need sleep...but bunnies must be appeased so posting this first!!

A/N 2 – bovidae = goats belong to this family

P2s = places to shag!

 

 

Pit stop at Little Goat Farm

Jack hovered in the doorway, watching as Ianto poured the coffees for each of the team, deft fingers adding cream and sugar as required and stirring carefully – every rotation of the spoon measured and exact, a perfect balance of efficiency and energy. Slim hands reached out for the bulging paper bags on the side of the worktop – the bags that had been guarded jealously since the Welshman had brought them in from his supply run earlier in the day.

Just imagining what sticky delights lay within the confines of those bags had Jack’s mouth watering without the addition of the euphoric aroma of Ianto’s coffee and the intoxicating presence of the man himself, encased in perfectly fitting grey pinstripe with a pale lemon shirt. Accordingly, with all those distractions, Jack could be forgiven for not hearing Tosh as she called up from the main workspace...

Ianto, however, with no such pressures weighing on his concentration, heard the shout clearly and moved towards the door to investigate. Jack’s eyes lit up as the gorgeous ensemble stepped within reach and he attempted to pull him into his arms, pouting when the young man merely dodged his grasp and slid past him, the slight brush of his body against Jack’s sending an immediate spark of want to his groin.

“Tosh?” Ianto looked down to where the beautiful Japanese woman was tapping swiftly on her keyboard.

“Just taken a call from the automatic Police diversion line that sounds like one we need to investigate...” she began.

“Yea..? hang on a minute...” he vanished from sight briefly, reappearing with a sheepish-looking Captain in tow by one of his braces. “...he was rummaging in the afternoon cakes bags...” he said by way of explanation for this strange behaviour, smiling softly when the older man wrapped his arms tightly around Ianto’s waist and pressed a swift kiss to the side of his neck. “...and don’t think you’re getting round me that easily...” he muttered, unable to resist melting into the embrace.

Tosh grinned, loving to see the interplay between the two men she’d come to adore. “A farmer has just called in to say that some ‘little odd green critters are attacking his animals and a big green one is watching...’ He sounded perfectly lucid and I’ve checked him out – nothing to suggest a drunk or a crank...”

“Jack..?” Ianto turned in the Captain’s arms to face him.

“Ok, you and I’ll go...you give the troops their coffee, I’ll get the details...” He squeezed the young man gently and released him, bounding down the stairs towards Tosh.

Ianto quickly gathered up the tray, adding the paper bags, plates and a couple of travel mugs and joined Jack in the main work area. He placed an almond slice and a coffee on Tosh’s desk then moved down to autopsy where Gwen was assisting Owen with the dissection of a Blowfish – Jack was keen for them all to be ‘inter-skilled’ as he called it so they took turns in working with the acerbic doctor to learn the art of alien vivisection. 

Shuddering at the sight before him, Ianto left their mugs and a large double chocolate muffin for Gwen, and a massive slice of Mamma’s cinnamon and apple pie for Owen crammed into a tiny space on Owen’s desk amongst the mass of paperwork [he was worse than Jack for paper!].

He retreated back up the steps gratefully and swiftly poured his and Jack’s coffees into the two travel mugs and was waiting with the Captain’s coat held out ready as the man strode towards him, jangling the keys to the SUV. Jack slid into the coat and led the way to the underground garage.

“Tosh’s programmed it into the SatNav, “he said, raising his eyebrows as Ianto snatched the keys and thrust the two travel mugs at him. 

“Get in Jack!” adding a whispered”coat pocket...” and grinning at the speed with which the older man was in the seat with safety belt buckled, groping in the large pocket of his coat to pull out one of the precious paper bags... Ianto concentrated on driving as Jack groaned delightedly with his mouth full of chewy chocolate brownie.

“Where we headed then?” Ianto asked, glancing sideways at Jack and chuckling at the rapturous expression on his face as he devoured his cake...give the man something sweet and sticky to sink his teeth into...he turned his thoughts away abruptly from some rather fond memories of sweet and sticky moments that most certainly did not resemble cake...

“Um, Little Goat Farm,” Jack mumbled around another mouthful, washing it down with a long drink of his coffee. “Ifan Davies - makes cheese among other delights...”

“I’m assuming he’s got goats..? He might have kids...”

“Nah, Tosh said he wasn’t married and didn’t have any children...” 

Ianto snorted with laughter. “No, I meant _kids_ – baby goats – they’re really cute. Tad used to take us to a farm when I was younger so me and Rhi could feed the kids and play with the rabbits... sometimes the farmer would take us out on his tractor...” his voice trailed off as he caught Jack’s expression – thoughtful, almost wistful...

“...wish I’d known you then... “ He crammed the last of his brownie into his mouth and chewed slowly.

There was silence for several minutes, broken only by the instructions from the SatNav.

“We’re here...” Ianto turned into a narrow lane between two towering and very overgrown hedgerows, bumping over the potholes and shaking them both in their seats. “Ahh, Ifan Davies I presume...”he said as an elderly, but sprightly man came rushing out to meet them.

Ifan launched into a stream of excited Welsh as they opened their doors and tugged Jack’s coat sleeve impatiently as Jack looked helplessly towards Ianto for a translation.

Ianto took a step towards the farmer and grimaced as his pristine shoes squelched in the soft mud underfoot. “Ruined!” he thought absently, picking his way carefully after the retreating backs of Ifan and his Captain. He caught them up outside a large stone building that turned out to be a milking pen. Ifan had stopped his frantic gabbling and was now pointing towards the open doorway, a fearful expression on his wizened face. 

Ianto turned to him. “Tell me again – slowly...” he said in Welsh. With much waving of his hands the elderly man repeated his story, Ianto nodding every now and again. He replied, smiled briefly and nodded again. The farmer grasped his hand, turned and left, relief evident on his face.

“Ok,” Ianto translated for Jack, “this morning at about eleven he heard a ‘bang’ in the sky and thought he could smell burning – like a burnt match, he described it as – but when he came out to look he couldn’t see anything, so he went back into the dairy – remember you said he makes cheese... He came back out here at half three to milk the goats and that’s when he found them...”

Jack raised his eyebrows questioningly. “ _They_ are described as green and fluffy sausage shapes, about the size of a large house cat with one antennae on the top. There are six of them...” 

“..doesn’t sound so bad...” Jack took a step towards the open doorway.

“...and a much larger one the size of a young heifer that’s a lighter shade of green and has got lots of sharp teeth...” 

Jack stopped abruptly.

“...the smaller ones are taking milk off the goats in the pen – it’s like they are nursing them – and the big one is standing guard. When Ifan tried to go near them it showed lots of sharp teeth and sent out a load of static – well that’s what he said it sounded like. He only tried it twice and then called the police... I’ve sent him to wait inside the house until we’re done...”

“Ok, suggestions?”

“We could try talking to it..? Sign language..? Let’s just see what _it_ is first..?”

Nodding, Jack led the way into the building, his hand reaching towards his Webley, Ianto close behind, stun gun hidden behind his back. 

The first thing they noticed was the strong smell of sulphur, just like a freshly burnt match, but magnified in intensity so the air was thick with it and they both choked as it hit the back of their throats. The next minute the air was filled with a hissing and cracking and tiny sparks like one of those fireworks on a stick that children have on bonfire night...quite pretty to look at, but not nearly as friendly when coming from a three foot high, single-antennaed, furry green sausage-shaped alien with several rows of razor-sharp looking teeth in a very large mouth, which turned menacingly in their direction as they inched through the door. 

Ianto stopped beside Jack and put a hand on his arm. “Ok...what now?”

“Hi, we’re Torchwood – Captain Jack Harkness at your service...” he gave his trademark wide-toothed grin, shrugging at Ianto’s raised eyebrow...”well, can’t hurt to try!” before both their mouths dropped open in surprise as the creature immediately stopped it’s hissing and the teeth disappeared from sight.

“I thank you for your greeting and exchange of tooth...” the two men glanced at each other and exchanged bemused looks as the alien continued, its voice low and guttural with an under-current crackle like a bad signal on a mobile...”my children and I were caught here when a flare from the gas ball of your planet burned the magnetic seal on our capsule as we were surfing in your atmosphere. 

My children were in need of feeding and my own supply of internal sustenance has been contaminated by your air – I have become poison to my young...” the antenna drooped and the creature’s fur dulled several shades...”but your bovidae offered their milk to fulfil them and we are grateful for your help. My other is still in our capsule waiting to bring us away once the children are full...” it bowed its *head* toward them.

“Um, you’re welcome...cool, a pit stop...” Jack offered, raising his eyebrows at Ianto as they looked past the mother [?] to the slightly cuter mini versions of the creature that were each sucking on the teats of a goat. On closer inspection, each ‘child’ had two mouths and was latched on to two teats, slight gulping movements noticeable under their green fur. Ianto surreptitiously captured a few pictures on his mobile phone to add to their alien database...

There was silence in the pen for long minutes – total silence they realised as the goats suddenly started bleating and the creatures detached from the teats, moving with surprising speed to ‘pour’ themselves across their mother, their antennae bouncing animatedly. 

“They are fed...my species thanks you and we exchange tooth as we leave you...” The creature suddenly bared its fearsome teeth at them, emitting tiny sparks as both men jumped. 

Ianto elbowed Jack in the side, “smile, quick, it wants one of your smiles...” as Jack continued to gaze at it and the sparks intensified. Jack grinned widely and nodded his head, “safe journey...” he said, as Ianto smiled beside him and they watched as a flash like the striking of a match split the air followed by a loud bang and the air was filled again with the choking smell of sulphur. Once the air had cleared, the alien had gone.

“Well that’s another species won over by the famous Harkness grin” Ianto chuckled. “So, shall we go exchange tooth with dear Ifan and beg a cup of tea..?”

Grinning, Jack turned and led the way out of the building towards the house, his coat billowing in the breeze. Ianto followed more slowly, picking his way carefully through the soft mud. Jack was in full flow describing the encounter to an enthralled Ifan when he finally made it into the farmhouse kitchen, insisting that the old man sit whilst Ianto made the tea, slipping the retcon into the farmer’s cup as he did so.

Ten minutes later the old man was asleep in his chair, his head resting peacefully on his hands on the table and their two mugs had been washed and put away, leaving no sign of their presence.

“Job done!” Jack nodded and headed back out to the SUV, surprised when Ianto tugged his arm towards a barn behind the farmhouse... 

“C’mon, you got to see these...” 

The barn was half-full of straw bales at one end, a ladder leading up into a second level. In several pens at the other end were more goats, nannies with their kids – tiny, fluffy, cute-faced little goats that bleated endearingly...

“Aren’t they adorable..?” enthused Ianto, reaching in to stroke the soft downy fur of the nearest kid, almost overbalancing as it skittered away from his outstretched hand. “..ok, adorable and a bit shy..!”

“...a bit like someone else I know...” Jack pressed a soft kiss on Ianto’s lips, smiling as a gentle blush crept over the young man’s cheeks. He glanced around them, a wicked grin breaking across his face and he grabbed the Welshman’s hand and pulled him towards the ladder...”hay-loft ...always wanted to get laid in one of these...” 

He put a hand on the ladder and gave Ianto _that_ look – a mix of lust, love and delicious promise – a look that sent shivers of desire coursing through Ianto’s body. He squeezed Jack’s backside and leant closer to capture his lips in a passionate kiss, full of want and longing. Jack slid his tongue into his lover’s mouth where they battled for dominance as the kiss became more heated.

“Up. Now...” ordered Jack, as they broke apart, panting.

Ianto scrambled up the ladder and crawled onto the straw covered boards, gasping as Jack pushed him back, covering the young man’s body with his own and grinding their hips together as he crushed his mouth down on those soft and sensual lips. Wild passion coursing through them, they arched and writhed frantically, the friction of their clothing against rock hard arousal woefully inadequate.

“Need you naked...” panted Ianto, tugging the coat off Jack’s shoulders, following with his braces, then fumbling with the buttons of his shirt as each continued to writhe against the other. Coming up for air, frustrated with Ianto’s struggle with his buttons, Jack ripped his shirt off so the offending items popped off and vanished amongst the straw. Impatient Welsh hands pushed his undershirt up and ran hungrily over the heated flesh beneath, pausing briefly to tug the garment over his head to be flung aside.

With Jack’s mouth devouring his greedily, Ianto unbuttoned his lover’s trousers, zanking the zip down and thrust his hand inside to grab him, swiping his thumb over the weeping tip, feeling Jack’s shudder of wanton passion against his mouth. He pushed the Captain’s trousers and boxers down towards his knees and rolled them over to pin him against the boards, pumping his hand slowly, teasing...feeling his lover’s body tremble against his touch. 

Pulling away from Jack’s mouth, Ianto ran hot, wet kisses down the side of his neck, lingering at the sensitive spot just behind his ear, sucking the skin into his mouth and grazing it with his teeth, smirking as the older man moaned and arched against him, pressing against his hand.

He continued his trail of kisses across his neck, licking the hollow of his throat, drawing involuntary gasps from his Captain, before moving back up the other side of his neck, nibbling on his earlobe, returning to his mouth where his tongue explored possessively. Jack moaned and writhed under him, thrusting wildly against Ianto’s hand.

“...harder...please...need to...” he pleaded huskily as they broke for breath, his lust-blown eyes fixed on his lover’s.

Crushing their lips together, Ianto pumped hard and fast, as Jack bucked beneath him, exploding with a harsh cry against his mouth, his body taut as every cell tingled with exquisite release. His heart pounded in his chest and his body quivered, coming down from the blissful high and he pulled the young man down for a sweet and tender kiss, soft lips responsive under his own as they lost themselves to the moment...

Breaking apart as the need to breathe exerted itself, Jack rolled them back over, winding his legs around the younger man, to sit astride him. Seeing his lover laying back, bits of straw stuck in his hair, his lips pink and kiss-swollen, Jack was overcome with just how beautiful he was, and leant down to kiss him tenderly, pouring his love and devotion into the kiss, leaving the Welshman breathless.

“I believe you are over-dressed Mr Jones...” he growled, grazing his teeth lightly down the side of his neck, hot breath against his ear drawing shivers of anticipation from the young man. Jack reached for the grey and gold striped tie at his lover’s throat and loosened it, releasing the knot and pulling it free from his collar in a fluid movement, moving to unbutton his shirt, pressing soft kisses against each new inch of skin as it was revealed, before nuzzling against the soft hair covering his chest.

He spent long minutes teasing his nipples, nipping gently with his teeth, watching as his gorgeous Welshman unravelled under him, soft moans escaping those sensual lips, his eyes closed and head thrust back into the straw.

Jack loved seeing Ianto like this – wanton and free and completely open to him, with nothing but the pleasure he was giving showing on his lovely face. He moved back up Ianto’s body to claim his lips, feeling them trembling against his own as his desire increased.

He pushed the shirt off the young man’s shoulders and tugged the sleeves over his hands, tossing it to one side, before shifting his weight back so he could turn his attention to his belt and trousers. He undid them slowly, stroking his hand lightly over the hot hardness pressing against the confines of the fabric.

Ianto arched up against his touch, biting down on his bottom lip, hot desire pulsing through his body. Sliding his hands over Ianto’s hips inside his waistband, Jack tugged his trousers and boxers down together to tangle round his knees, like his own. 

He took a moment to gaze at Ianto’s body...laid out before him and trailed his fingers from his forehead, down his button nose, across his lips, following the curve of throat down to stroke through the soft curls on his chest. He swept the flat of his hands over his lover’s rib cage and back down to his hips, feeling the shudders running through him. 

Pressing Ianto’s hips to the floor, he leant down and sucked him into his mouth, the young man mewling loudly as he was engulfed in the hot moist heat and Jack went to work with tongue and a light scraping of teeth that had him bucking wildly feeling his release building to a crescendo...

“...no!” he gasped, “wanna come with you in me...need to...now...please...Jack...”

Scrambling off him, Jack pulled their trousers, underwear and shoes off roughly and scrabbled in his coat pocket for the lube he always carried, flipping the lid. Ianto moaned as he felt a cool finger slip into him, pushing deeper, Jack adding a second, angling them to brush that magic spot, drawing an incoherent stream of Welsh from his lover’s lips.

Jack pulled his fingers out and lubed himself, pressing in slowly as he gazed into Ianto’s eyes. He stilled for a moment, feeling the hot tight heat clenched around him as the young man arched up at him impatiently. “Jack...please...” he whimpered softly.

Jack moved his hips, slowly at first, drawing out the delicious sensations as long as possible until he was overcome by wild frenzy and they thrust together, panting hard, fingers raking skin, exchanging sloppy kisses as they spiralled closer to blissful climax, each finally crying out the other’s name as they soared and collapsed panting in each other’s arms.

They kissed lazily, enjoying the closeness and wriggling occasionally as the straw tickled their skin. The quiet was broken by Jack’s phone ringing insistently. Ianto lifted his head from its comfortable spot nestled into Jack’s shoulder. “...you gonna answer that? Probably Tosh or Gwen...”

“nah! Can’t be bothered to move...” Jack pulled Ianto’s head back to rest on his shoulder. The phone stopped...only for Ianto’s to start...

The Welshman stirred as if to get up, but Jack tugged him back. “Stay...” he whispered, pressing a tender kiss to his temple.

“Compromise then..?” Ianto stretched out a leg and tangled his toes around his trousers, inching them towards him without moving from Jack’s embrace. The ringing had stopped by the time he’d extracted his phone from his pocket, showing a missed call from Tosh. He hit redial, shushing Jack who was attempting to distract him with a stalk of straw... 

“Tosh...you rang?” he giggled as Jack found one of his ticklish spots...”no...we’re fine...yea, just gotta talk to the farmer...y’know...” he broke off into peals of laughter as Jack hit a major tickle spot, batting his lover’s hands away helplessly...”no, Tosh we’re fine, really..!” giggling again as Jack pulled out handfuls of straw from the bale behind their heads and tossed it up into the air so it scattered around them. 

Jack grabbed at the phone, tugging it from his lover’s hand. “Tosh, we’re fine – check your messages in three minutes, ok! Bye!” He hung up, laughing, opening the camera on Ianto’s phone and turning it to take a picture of the two of them, capturing them laughing, naked and flushed, strewn with straw and very obviously recently satisfied... 

He tapped out a short text 

Your eyes only – we are very fine – back soon! J&I

Btw- hay loft crossed off p2s list!

He attached the picture and sent the message to Tosh before showing Ianto what he’d done, who blushed prettily and snatched his phone back to study the snap more closely. “Not bad...not bad at all – and just as well you only got the top half – not sure I could face Tosh if...” Impulsively, he opened the camera again and snapped them, full body, glancing at it quickly before closing the application. “Just one...for us, cariad...” 

He wound his arms round his Captain and claimed his lips in a soft and gentle kiss...followed by another and another... Finally he wriggled reluctantly out of Jack’s embrace, “we better get dressed – Ifan’ll be coming round soon and we need to be well out of here before then...

They dressed and picked the worst of the straw out of each other’s hair, laughing like school boys, before clambering back down the ladder. They stopped to have another look at the kids, Jack climbing into a pen in an effort to stroke them and Ianto laughing hard as the tiny goats evaded his outstretched grasp time after time. 

After countless attempts, the Captain sank to the floor and pouted, “I just want to pet one...Ianto...please...” Those big puppy eyes looked up at him, pleadingly. Ianto turned away from the older man before he was mesmerised by the expression in his eyes, calling back firmly over his shoulder, “No Jack, I am _not_ catching you a goat!” He headed out to the SUV, chuckles floating back as he went...

End

 

Happy Birthday Choccy_Grl

 

 

 

 

 

 

  



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